Christmas Gift

Breaking Up

Summer is swiftly coming an end. The all-white parties are lined up for the upcoming Labor Day holiday weekend. Now is the time to make those annual gyno appointments and stock up on seasonal supply of the Nuvaring. Your long, hot days and drunken nights are just about over… it was fun while it lasted. But guess what? Now it’s time to start preparing for

Boo Season

Notice I didn’t say “cuffing season” …because there’s no such thing. You need a boo. Someone that will come over and mount your 54” TV, fix your flat tire, or ride along on the A train with a laundry cart full of groceries, hold the right side of your hair while you wrap the left, cook a meal, console and talk to you about life…for free. Granted you’ll have occasional sex but he isn’t in this for a seasonal fuck. He cares. Wants to be with. He likes you. And you need to position yourself to get boo’d up and not cuffed for a season.

Work on that Christmas gift.

Summer 2013 has been nothing but a blur. I’ve partied, flirted, and thotted around town and got up for work as if nothing happened every day of the week. If I didn’t collapse one day last month, I would have gone on forever believing that I was 22 25 again. The past few years, I’ve been in a fuck buddy cuffing casual situation that has cause me nothing but confusion and some pain. He was a cuffing buddy comfort zone. But this year, I’m determined to keep up the turn-up momentum and land me a permanent boo. We’re going to make it through the holiday season, exchange gifts and continue on into the new year! And here are a few things I have in mind:

1. Online Dating…even though it sucks

When I’m not working, I’m usually spending time on passion-projects, attending networking events or catching up on sleep. I’m a very busy woman and when I’m out – I don’t have time to be out on the prowl. I’m busy having fun or relaxing.  As a result, I’m sort of forced to sign-up for dating sites in hopes of connecting with a decent guy who is just as busy as me and don’t have time to date – but somehow we’ll figure out a way to make it work. If you’re determined to get a Christmas gift this year – now is the time to log on. Profiles that magically appear after Labor Day are a bit suspect. You don’t want to seem too obvious.  I mean, how convenient…summer is over and now you’re looking for something serious? You have to be strategic

2. Be Open…go with the flow

I’m likely the nicest, semi-shallow person on the face of the Earth. I have no qualms about admitting that. My beloved grandmother would constantly remind me that I need to stop ‘showboating’ and date a man that is nice to me and will make sure I’m a kept woman. I’m a work a progress and since her death, I’ve vowed to be as open as possible when it comes to meeting new people…particularly men and enjoy the moment. There’s some truth to the old saying, “there’s somebody out there for everybody.” I mean no shade, but Honey Boo Boo’s mom has a man. If you’re hoping get that new bottle of Nicki Minaj (kidding) perfume this year, you have to be open to trying something, or someone, new. The odds always seem to work against you when you’re focused on one particular guy or a certain type. Trust me.

3. Loosen Up. Smile. Be happy!

It’s weird. I’ve been thinking about my career path for some time now and wondered why I never thought to explore the field of psychology. Riding the bus, sitting down on the train, or taking a flight – strangers LOVE to start personal conversations with me. It annoys the hell out of me because I hate people (not really). People love talking to me about their life, kids, their problems, wives…you name it.  I don’t think I’m that approachable and when I carry a frown…someone will usually follow-up with a comment about why I should smile or engage in some sort of dialogue – forcing me to let my guard down. Despite my hatred disinterest in talking to people, I’ve noticed when smiling and being happy – people (men) will go through great lengths just to get near me. Radiant, positive energy is contagious – you will not land a boo mean-mugging or dissing folks. Your Christmas boo could be watching your every move. So smile and lighten up

4. Never leave the house without a little lipstick and mascara

“…when you leave the house, make sure that you have on some nice underwear, a little lipstick and earrings…just in case you pass out …you’ll be cute in the ambulance.”  – My Grandmother

There’s something about Southern belles that makes them so damn charming. I’m sure my grandmother envisioned ruffled bloomers and not a cheetah print g-string. The point being is that you have to keep yourself together, or  nice looking, at all times. The competition is pretty stiff on the east coast. I’m not suggesting that you walk around dressed in a catsuit, face beat or look like Beyonce. Just keep yourself neat and presentable…even if you’re dressed down in jeans and gym shoes. Comb your hair, put a little something on your face, and act as if you’re well put together. Your boo will know NOT to shop at the ‘Bow (Rainbow Clothing Stores) for your Christmas gift – you’re a Macy’s or Lord & Taylor kind of girl. Besides, he could potentially have you as his date for upcoming holiday parties and 2014 weekend trips. Keep yourself up – it will make you feel better at least.

5. I got the hook-up….holla if you hear me!

And lastly, the best way to meet someone is through mutual friends or friends of friends. I’m leery about receiving the “hook-up” treatment and/or blind dates. But the older I get – the more I feel as if I have nothing to lose. If there’s a guy that you’ve been checking for quite some time or have an interest in – ask a friend to put in a good word. But you better act fast, I’d hate to hear that you lost your potential boo to someone that was willing to be a cuff buddy!

What are some ways that you’re preparing for boo season? Are you a “man magnet?” What’s your secret? As much as I hate the phrase cuffing season, do you think that it truly exists? Whatever you do…fight the urge and stay away from taken or married men. We need our own boos, with our own problems…bringing in Christmas together!

P.S. The goal here isn’t limited to just receiving a Christmas gift…

Well…nevermind.

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One Reply to “Christmas Gift”

  1. I’m 53 and I don’t use the word boo to refer to any males, not even my kids or grandkids. They or anyone else better not refer to me as boo either. I have a title (mom, mom-mom, aunt, etc) and a first name. Use that instead of boo. The dictionary defines the word boo as something or someone you don’t approve of. Why would I call a grown man who I’m involved with a boo? Why would I even be involved with someone I disapprove of? No thank you. I’d much rather prefer a Christmas Gift that I can LIKE all year round for a lot of years. I refer to a member of the opposite sex as a man until he proves otherwise. Then he becomes a boo that I’ve kicked to the curb. And I don’t care what time of the year it is. Guess that’s just the type of woman I am and will always be.

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