Snag a Man…Online

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Single Ladies – VH1

A few months of living in New York City had flown by and before I knew it…it was damn near Valentine’s Day. My new girl smell had worn off and the dates began to become few, far, and in-between. I was chatting with a girlfriend about being lonely and needing some company. She mentioned that a few of her friends have had success with I immediately blew her off because I’m too fine and too fly to be on  Furthermore, how am I going to explain how I met my new man to my old-fashion Southern family!? They do not understand communicating via text message or Skype – how are they going to interpret meeting someone online!! The thought of being on an online dating site equals desperation and if someone I knew spotted me – I’d be embarrassed as hell.  She finally confessed that she had given a shot – validating that normal people do exist on online dating sites.

I laughed the entire time.

I could not believe my ass was on searching for a date. Every wink, every instant message, every email would result in gut-busting, tear jerking laugh. This was quite possibly one of the craziest things I had ever done. Then it suddenly hit me that the process of looking for potential love and companionship isn’t a laughing matter…it’s serious. There were a few stragglers and spammers, but the majority of men that I was interacting with were attractive, black, successful professionals. I encountered physicians, police officers, military men, lawyers, and educators – all of which didn’t necessarily have time for socializing or meeting new people in social environments. I also noticed that majority of the men were looking for serious relationships…something that I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for.

The hunt search was very easy. I chose my ideal age range, ethnicity, and required educational background:

The headline and the profile summary is the first point of contact, as it summarizes the entire profile. It’s similar to a sales pitch:

Please note that everything that glitters isn’t gold. The About Me section is crucial and can be a major deal breaker. How you articulate what you want speaks volumes. Take a look:

After you’ve reviewed his About Me and Who He’s Looking for section. Pay special attention to how you two match up. This section will be a side-by-side comparison between his requirements and his personal stats:

Once you’ve determined that you’re interested, you can take the initiative by making contact with several contact options beneath the profile or at the top right corner:

I spent a couple weeks on chatting and entertaining men. I finally decided to meet 3 men: School Administrator, Java Web Developer and a Marketer. The School Administrator was 15 years my senior but gorgeous. He knew damn well that he had no business even looking my way.  According to his profile, I wasn’t even apart of his acceptable age range. His questions concerning my life goals and purpose left me feeling intimidated. Thus, I politely ended communication with him. He was simply too mature for me.

The Marketer was my biggest disappointment. He was down-to-earth, humorous, and hip.  We spent weeks exchanging pictures, chatting via text and online. We even progressed to Facebook friends. I honestly thought I had a winner. After a few weeks of chatting, we decided to meet for coffee at a Starbucks in Midtown. I was excited – I felt like I was meeting up with a long lost friend. My mouth hit the floor when we finally met.

He had prosthetic hands.

I don’t really have a problem dating a man with kids. But just like kids, you should mention a handicap after the first few conversations or at least display a picture in your profile. I was mortified. I was so disturbed that I stuttered the entire conversation. He explained in full detail the near-death illness that resulted in him losing his limbs. I sympathized but being honest; I couldn’t handle dating someone with a handicap. Furthermore, he should have made me aware of his condition well before our meeting.

My final pick…the Java Web Developer was a goldmine winner. He was decent, educated, and one of the finest men I had ever dated. His beautiful Caribbean accent combined with his dreamy body was definitely a winning combination. I was spoiled with weekly dates and frequent communication. He was into me, but unfortunately I was elsewhere. We managed to date for close to 5 months but I couldn’t tell you anything about him. I can’t recall his favorite color, his middle name, or any identifying trait. He complained about me not being receptive or responsive to his advances.  He begged for phone calls and kisses – but I didn’t hear him. I was still traumatized from my previous relationship. I wasn’t emotionally available to be dating or fostering a relationship. I simply needed someone to cure my loneliness. I had forgotten how to date and was beyond afraid of what would happened if I allowed myself to be open again. Needless to say, he moved on.


 Would you ever experiment with online dating? What are you thoughts on online dating? Do you have any success stories? Let’s chat!


6 Replies to “Snag a Man…Online”

  1. OMG…can’t stop laughing… “He had prosthetic hands.”… my day has started with laughter… oh, I nearly forgot… if you’re looking for great men in your life, you shouldn’t forget that we come in a range of many colors, not just chocolate…


    1. LOL yes…I don’t discriminate when it comes to men. I love them all : )

      And the prosthetic hands was traumatizing…all I could think about was his touch and how fake it would feel.


    I have to say I feel exactly like you did except my family would be surprised. I’ve thought about doing it but this darn city is so small that yeah i’d be embarassed by it & I’m a little leary of the psychos lingering in cyber space but I guess they’re out here roaming too. LOL

    You have given me a new perspective on it but I don’t think I’m quite ready to jump in yet. ;-D

  3. I wonder if I was “the friend” who encouraged you to try it!!LOL I know that profile above was a joke. A Financial Advisor at Merrill Lynch….with all of those grammatical and spelling errors and the name Cash. Yeah right, give me a break. He’s not even intelligent enough to be a successful drug dealer!!LOL Don’t give up! I definitely think you should be open to all possibilities. Times have changed and traditional anything is hard to come by….it takes time and compromise to acquire. I don’t have any success stories in my experience thus far (assuming a success story means long-term committed relationship and/or marriage) but I’m having fun on the journey and going into it with no expectations! I’m open!

    1. LOL You were the “friend” that encouraged me. Also, the examples were from different profiles. “Cash” and Merrill Lynch were two different people. I absolutely agree with you regarding the times changing. Online dating is no longer this taboo. We meet people through Facebook connections and twitter chats (friendships and relationships) often…so what’s the big deal with online dating. Evelyn met Chad Ochocinco through twitter (140 characters or less) and she’s happy.

      I highly recommend online dating and will definitely engage in again – if necessary.

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