The Man with the Golden Egg

Normally I’d ball my fist up and aim for a man’s mouth. But there was something about his slap on my ass that made me melt in the middle of the dance floor. I was a combination of pissed, embarrassed, aroused, and flabbergasted. The nerve of this stranger to slap me on my ass in front of all of these people. I know you noticed my head was held high and I’m walking around with premium pumps on – not Fioni. I’m of a different standard, how dare you get my attention in such a low-class manner?!

He was sexy. The Adonis of man.

He went to school in Philly and was baby-sitting his mom’s building on lake for the summer. He was bold, feisty, smart, rude, affectionate, and aggressive – just how I like em’. We spent some time getting to know the basics about each other – likes and dislikes, middle names, favorite color…blah, blah, blah.

After several late-night phone calls and dates – I accepted the invitation to dinner…at his house. There’s nothing sexier than a man that can cook. I’m not talking about the usual baked chicken, fettucini alfredo, and salad. I’m talking about full-blown 7 course meal. He even went as far as decorating the apartment in honor of the Italian (my favorite) cuisine he created. He knew he was getting some that night.

After a few rounds of ASF, we cuddled and chatted it up about life and plans for the weekend. We were killing time, resting up for round 2. After 20 minutes or so, I decided to take matters in my own hands and kick off a massage session. My Mandingo massage was rudely interrupted after approximately 2 minutes of stroking. I discovered that he was carrying around an egg.

He had one small, fragile, and firm testicle.

He noticed the look of confusion on my face and began to explain that he had been kicked in the testicles during a football game in college. As a direct result, he lost a testicle, had a lower chance of having children, and lost a side of pride. I was taken back by the egg and couldn’t help but inspect his entire body. What a pleasant surprise. Despite his shortcomings, we managed to have amazing Belly style sex for the entire summer.

Have you ever encountered something out of the ordinary with your partner? Let’s talk.


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