I think I forgot how to be a hoe…no seriously.
There was no other way to describe younger me. I was cold-blooded and demanded a great deal of shit. You want some pussy? I need my hair done, money, money, money, money, and more money for my kitty account.
As simple as that.
Marriage and commitment – any form of dating was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn’t want to meet your mother and I don’t want to meet your boy because I might bag him too. I may accept a date, but please, I beg you, hold the cuddling. I’m not sure if I was being rebellious because of a recent break-up or if it was my copper-colored hair and double tongue ring (don’t hate).
Fast forward 5+ years, I’m confused as hell. Should I make him my famous banana crème pie on my next visit? Should I pick up these shoes for him since they’re on sale at Macy’s? Oh that new movie is coming out Friday; maybe he’ll take me to see it since I’ve been dropping hints all week…right? It’s Valentine’s Day, last year, I got dinner and concert from a guy I was dating. I know he’s going to do something nice for me since we’re fucking. I mean, it’s only right.
I’ve grown so accustomed to being loved and loving that I’ve lost all my hoe tendencies. The young free-spirited girl has now grown into a marriage-obsessed, status-driven,
hopeful hopeless woman. All my old skills and tact has been thrown out the window.
comes fully equipped with a little prayer and high hopes that it isn’t being viewed as too soft or needy. I must recall every rule in the friend with benefits bible:
- Thou shall not have any expectations or make any demands in a just fucking
- Thou shall not get jealous, emotional, or territorial.
- Thou shall be discreet and understanding of the
- Thou shall not get too comfortable.
- And most importantly, thou shall remember that you are not the girlfriend. You are the (girl) friend…with benefits. Sex doesn’t always equal a commitment.
After my last fiasco, I vowed that I’d never put myself in a drama-filled relationship again. Moving to this city gave me a ton of things to focus on and a relationship, hell even a man, wasn’t one of them. I promised myself that my years of random rendezvous were over and the next guy who proved his commitment to me would get the pussy. Well after a year of
celibacy no sex, I fell victim to the man with the slight bow in his leg and a nice budge in his jeans. The disappointing part about this ordeal, is that it was never really my intentions to have sex…so soon. I genuinely met him with the expectation of us getting to know each other either on a friendship or romantic level. I’ve blown any chances at anything romantic, and in order to redeem self-esteem myself, I must act like I’m ok with just fucking. Even better, I have been acting like I don’t care – when deep down inside
I pride myself on having a grip on my life goals but I can’t seem to get a grip on this six month
relationship situation. Somewhere along the lines I went from being borderline OK with the situation to really caring and dependent on our companionship. There’s nothing worst than being just a friend… with benefits. I take that back, there’s nothing worst than losing good pipe. Something truly has to give.
Have you ever been in a friend with benefits situation? Can men and women really just have sex with no attachment? Have you ever wanted sex without the commitment? Who is better at being friends with benefits, men or women? Speak.